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OS's & something we understand



In keeping with the recent discussions, I think that some explanation of
the different operating systems is needed for all on the TIG.  So that
everyone can understand the differences, even if they don't care what is
inside their computer, I will use a very well known subject so that all
may understand.  THIS SUBJECT IS BEER.....YES BEER.  SO HERE GOES:
> 
> Beer
> 
> > DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener and requires you to read
> > the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally, it only came in
> > an 8 oz. can, but now it comes in a 16 oz. can. However, the can is divided
> > into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately.
> > Soon to be discontinued, although alot of people are going to keep drinking
> > it after it's no longer available.
> >
> > Mac Beer: At first, it only came in a 16 oz. can, but now it comes in a 32
> > oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All of the cans look
> > identical. When you take one from the refrigerator, it opens itself. The
> > ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the
> > ingredients, you are told that "You don't need to know". A notice on the
> > side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
> >
> > Windows 3.1 Beer: The world's most popular beer. It comes in a 16 oz. can
> > that looks alot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer.
> > Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in
> > reality, you can only drink a few of them, very slowly... especially slowly
> > if you are drinking the Windows 3.1 Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for
> > apparently no reason, a can of Windows 3.1 Beer will explode when you open
> > it.
> >
> > OS/2 Beer: Comes in a 32 oz. can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers
> > simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but
> > somehwat slower. Advertises that its' cans won't explode when you open them,
> > even if you shake them up. You never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer,
> > but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9
> > million six-packs have been sold.
> >
> > Windows 95 Beer: Alot of people have taste-tested it and claim that it's
> > wonderful. The can looks alot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes more like
> > Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32 oz. cans, but when you look inside, the
> > cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep
> > drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say
> > that they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small print,
> > has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS Beer, even though the
> > manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.
> >
> > Windows NT Beer: Comes in 32 oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the
> > truckload. This causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger
> > refrigerators. The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's can, but the
> > company promises to change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's can.
> > Touted as an "industrial strength" beer and suggested only for use in bars.
> >
> > UNIX Beer: Comes in several different brands, and in cans ranging from 8 oz.
> > to 64 oz. Drinkers of UNIX Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though
> > they claim that all of the different brands taste almost identical.
> > Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to
> > have your own can opener around for those occassions, in which case you
> > either need a complete set of instructions or a friend who has been drinking
> > UNIX beer for several years. A "light" version of this beer also exists,
> > called LINUX Beer.
> >
> > AmigaDOS Beer: The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has
> > been picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an
> > import. This beer never really sold very well because the original
> > manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like UNIX Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans
> > are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in a 16 oz. can,
> > but now it comes in 32 oz. cans too. When this can was originally
> > introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design hasn't changed
> > much over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics of this beer claim
> > that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.
> >
> > VMS Beer: Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and
> > sipping. However, cans have been known on occassion to explode, or contain
> > extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk in high-pressure development
> > environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of ingredients,
> > you're told that it is proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the
> > manuals published by the FDA. Rumors have it that this was once listed in
> > the Physician's Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one claims to have
> > actually seen it.
> >


Bill Hogan    bhogan at sprocketdig.com	v.818-566-7700
Sprocket Digital	Burbank,CA		f.818-566-4477

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